How To Discover And Remove The HIDDEN REASON For Refusal

In the previous chapter you learned how to handle a "No" response by ASKING "Why?" ... with additional help from Personal Influence Psychology.

There are two more questions which you may need to use to isolate the objections causing a "No" response. They are: "For example?" or "For instance?"

Use one of these two questions (which really mean the same thing) whenever the person saying "No" gives you a vague, general excuse when you ASK "Why?"

For example: When the other person says, "There are a lot of reasons why I can't do what you ask," the next question you should ASK is "For example?" or "For instance?" These questions will bring out specific objections which you can overcome by using the ASKING techniques described in this blog.

Let me repeat for emphasis: You have to know exactly why the person you ASK resists doing what you

want. You know, in general, that the resistance is caused by the person's not being sure that he or she will benefit (directly or indirectly) by doing what you ASK-or that he or she is afraid that doing what you ASK will result (directly or indirectly) in a loss of some kind.

So . . . you have to find out what the person you ask wants-and offer what he or she wants as the benefit of doing what you ASK.

And . . . what is even more important, you have to make the person you ask sure that he or she cannot lose anything (directly or indirectly) by doing what you ASK.

The reason it is more important to assure the person that he or she cannot lose anything-is that psychologists have learned that people are much more interested in preventing losses than they are in making gains.

A person who wouldn't show a flicker of interest in getting an additional $10, would go to great lengths to prevent losing $10.

That is because FEAR is one of the most powerful of aU emotions and EVERY FEAR is a fear of LOSING something!

If you psychologically dig deep enough, you will find that the very root of every FEAR is the fear of LOSS . . . loss of confidence . . . loss of status . . . loss of health . . . loss by death . . . loss of money . . . loss of time ... loss of security ... loss of job ... loss of love . . . loss of admiration . . . loss of one or more of a thousand different things!

Be sure that you ASK in such a way that you 90 make the other person feel secure against any possibility of LOSS-because LOSS is the main thing the person you are asking doesn't want! This is the key to successfully getting WHATEVER you want!

So be sure you learn specifically what the person doesn't want, in addition to finding out what he or she does want.

Therefore, bring out the specifics by ASKING "For example?" or "For instance?"

You cannot ASK in generalities. You must know exactly what the person wants and doesn't want. Find out by ASKING "For example?" or "For instance?" Then-and only then-can you ASK for what you want in such a way as to make the person you ask sure that he or she will benefit and not lose by doing what you ASK.

Getting WHATEVER you want by effectively ASKING for it-is sure and simple when you use the two following principles:

1. Whenever the person you ASK is sure that he or she will not lose anything by doing what you ASK, then that person will not resist doing it.
2. Whenever the person you ASK is sure that he or she actually will benefit by doing what you ASK, then that person will be eager to do it.

Getting WHATEVER you want by ASKING for it is just as simple and easy as that!