The most banned word when you ask for something.

HOW you ASK-often is as important as WHAT you ASK! HOW you ASK-often will determine whether or not you will get WHAT you ASK! Therefore, it is essential that you learn how to ASK. And, also, that you learn how not to ASK. The briefest, clearest way to express the basic teaching of this chapter is in its title: NEVER Use The Word: “DEMAND." That states a rule to which there are no exceptions. It is easy to remember-and remembering it is so essential to GETTING WHATEVER YOU WANT that you must memorize it and remind yourself of it whenever you are tempted to use pressure: NEVER Use The Word: “DEMAND.” Arrogant DEMANDING his become a mis- guided method tried by many would-be pressure groups and especially their leaders in seeking to impose the will of a minority upon a majority. Next to ensuring permanent failure by using actual physical violence in acts of dissent, defiance or revolution-DEMANDS (usually accompanied by threats, real or implied) are the surest way to create instant, hardened resistance which GUARANTEES that whatever is DEMANDED will be delayed, reduced or denied-with sullen resentment and varying degrees of hostility. It is not the purpose of this blog to judge the justice or the possibility of attainment of any of the DEMANDS made by anyone group (usually a minority) upon any other group (usually a majority) . But since what is so vehemently DEMANDED obviously is what some people want, it is consistent with the purpose of this blog, in teaching how to get what you want, to emphasize that DEMANDING it-is NOT how to get it easily, simply and surely. Or even how to get it at all! In fact, many of the desired actions or desired things which are DEMANDED-are DENIED solely be- cause of the MANNER in which they are DEMANDED! And, many of those desired actions or desired things often clearly are deserved-and would have been granted-if they had not been arrogantly DEMANDED! It is a fact of human nature that people do not like to be forced to do anything. If, for whatever reason, resistance already exists-then any attempt to use DEMANDS to force a humiliating SURRENDER, only increases the resistance- and enflames the hostility which accompanies the resistance. DEMANDS are counter-productive. Instead of making it easier to get whatever is wanted, DEMANDS make it much more difficult. It is a law of psychology, as well as a law of physics, that pressure creates resistance. If you want to give the impression that you are trying to force others to give you whatever you want by your applying pressure- just say, “I DEMAND!" The response of others to what- ever you DEMAND (no matter how worthy) will be instant, hardened RESISTANCE. Then, if you want to blow the whole deal, just add: “And my DEMAND is NOT NEGOTIABLE!" That will blow it! Just consider a few (deliberately extreme) examples of DEMANDS, and imagine the response to each: A husband comes home from work. Instead of his usual greeting, he shouts at his wife: “I DEMAND that you serve me my dinner NOW!" (Imagine the wife's re- action!) A salesman walks up to his prospect and shouts: “I DEMAND that you give me an order NOW . . . on MY terms . . . and MY terms are NOT NEGOTIABLE!" Well, he not only will get one order, but two orders: “Get out!!!" and “Get lost!!!" In your own imagination, apply the “I DEMAND" approach to all sorts of situations. Then imagine the response! The response may be overt and violent, or the response may be silent hatred, or the response may be sullen resentment and hardened resistance. Yet people, in all walks of life, from those who have no power at all, to those who represent large power- 70 seeking organizations, incur resentment, resistance, hostility and hatred by saying: “I DEMAND!" ... "We DEMAND!" You see them at meetings or on television- their faces contorted with contempt and hatred-shouting “I DEMAND!" ... "We DEMAND!" ... "And our DEMANDS are NOT NEGOTIABLE!" The use of such resistance-assuring and hostility-provoking statements brand those using them as insolent, arrogant, ignorant people-pretenders of power- who, any psychiatrist will tell you, are over-compensating for an inferiority complex hidden deep within their sub- conscious. They really are unsure of themselves so they consciously or subconsciously try to cover up their unsureness by shouting DEMANDS. The more unsure they are the louder they shout! In their show of bravado, they imagine that their DEMANDS demonstrate that they have POWER- when just the opposite is true: Those who really HAVE POWER never NEED to DEMAND! And never do! People and organizations with the POWER to get what they ASK, never DEMAND. They REQUEST. That is all they need to do. A DEMAND is an admission of WEAKNESS magnified by threats! All you need to do to GET WHATEVER YOU WANT is to use the success methods taught in this blog. One of the easiest of these success methods is to ASK (never DEMAND). This blog will teach you how to ASK so that you never will incur resentments which will cause resistance.